As a young wife thrust into the care of house and home and husband, I have to say that I love it, well, most of it. It certainly does not look as romantic as it did in Little House on the Prairie or Snow White or Cinderella—seriously; Cinderella probably became a spoiled princess with too many pairs of glass slippers to care if she lost one. I would love to have the birds do my ironing! And I would love to have someone explain the nature of my cleaning habits. “I thought you were such a neat freak, Deanna?” Key word there is “neat”. I have a place for things and I like my life to be tidy. This does not mean I like to clean. Anybody else out there feel me? It does mean that once I start, I can’t stop! No, if anything, marriage is more like Jane Eyre and Little Woman. It is difficult, it is wonderful, it can be lonely, and it can be ugly. It makes or shatters one’s character.
But there is definitely something about marriage that has kept the institution alive for so long. A friend recently asked me what I liked the most about being married. I thought about it for a long time. I thought about it as I vacuumed and as I cooked dinner and I thought about it still as I gave my husband a welcome home embrace. I tried to pick apart all the facets and be specific, but after an hour or so of thinking about it, I was only able to simply reply, that I love him. Marriage, this social, religious, cultural, traditional institution, means nothing, to me personally, without him, without us. It is the “us” that is so wonderful. Life is not easier or rosier and it has not miraculously become utopia since we married, but no matter what we face, we face it together. We have a pact, a partnership. When I envision my tomorrows it is always with him at my side. There is nothing else as intimate as that.
I have so many young married friends as well as old married friends, and I want to know: What is the best part of being married?
5 comments:
Well, for me, marriage has been a series of success and failures--more failures than successes. Our marriage did not truly function until we solved one major problem...we were worshipping each other. Once we let go of the requirements we placed on each other and instead looked to God to provide love, security, self-worth, etc., then it freed us up to simply "be" in love. She's my best friend. She's my confidant. I know that if the world falls apart and everyone turns on me, she won't. I will never have to face anything alone as long as she is here. Her words encourage me and help me stay focused and motivated. Though men and women need different things in a relationship, she is well suited to provide those things I need, and I try to do that for her. "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing." I feel sorry for those men who struggle with their wives and the relationship. I don't have any of those problems.
You took my answer!!! ;)
But also...knowing that no matter what happens, Randy Myer's not only there for me, but he "gets" me--like no one else can--and I "get" him the same way...that, and helping the "fruits" of our relationship grow into individuals with their own dreams and plans--and quirky personalities, too...and doing that as a team (we totally trade secrets).
David and I jokingly refer to ourselves as "Team Stanley"--but it fits. We're a team; we work together. My favorite part about our marriage is that he is my dearest friend. We get to spend our weekends off together, and we fill them with adventures. :)
It's the best.
I love all of your comments. I haver to agree. The intimate friendship that we have is something I greatly treasure and I can't imagine it not being this way. To not be my husband's friend would be torture. In addition, the fact that we can look at one another openly, acknowledging that neither one of us are perfect, staring at faults and mistakes and that we still choose to love one another. There is a security in that commitment that completely abolishes doubt and distrust.
Thanks for sharing!
I tried to post a response but the Blogger page came back in Pashto...wasnt expecting that! I have fixed the problem so I will try again.
My disclaimer here would be that I have not been home enough since getting married to truly appreciate all the merits, the good and bad of married life.
From my limited perspective, I would have to say the best part of being married is the idea that my life is no longer just my own. WIth my own life, I could be careless, neglect my relationship with God, spend money how I pleased, treat my body how I pleased, rush headlong into dangerous situations...
I cannot do these things anymore. And I am grateful for that! I have someone that I am permanently accountable to, who is expecting me (and rightfully so) to come home, to be responsible, to care for her and I, to be a good steward.
I had just hit the point in my life where I was committed to deploying over and over. I love the adrenaline and living for war seemed like a perfectly reasonable lifestyle. But now I am a husband and God willing, I will be a father someday. And those callings are a far greater honor.
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